Whose bright idea was this?!?!

Good Lord, someone in my house thought it would be a good idea to get a pool membership for this summer.  Sounds like a great plan, right?  Get some warmth and sunshine in while the kids perfect their swimming skills all the while enjoying time together.  WHO ON EARTH DESIGNS SWIMSUITS.  It is most certainly not me.  Otherwise I'm pretty sure I would be able to find one that didn't make me feel like the offspring of an albino elephant and a humpback whale (please notice my use of the phrase "feel like", as Travis says, we are all our own worst critics).  I don't know, though, why designers, manufacturers, suppliers, whoever is responsible for the crap that passes as swimwear and needs to rot in someplace warm, thinks that any adult female alive would feel anywhere near as good in a suit as the people they have in the pictures!!  I am 32 years old for crying out loud, I've had three kids!!  Can I just get a bikini bottom that strategically covers my problem areas without creating more problem areas?!?!?!?!  Ones that didn't even exist as problem areas until I put on said suit?!?!

On the other hand, whoever designs toddler swimwear is a genius.  Lucy is a bathing beauty.  Though apparently the aversion to having a photo taken while wearing a swimsuit starts rather young.  Below, I present to you, the beautiful, smart, funny, fiery Lucy telling me "no" while I try to take her picture :)  And could her bangs please start to stay tucked nicely behind her ears?!